sara! sara! sara! sara!

the consumer's king and unhappiness is treason

nobody@vox.com(sara) — Sat, 30 Sep 2006 06:38:17 -0700

JOSH: [out of nowhere] well, i get two weeks off and it's right around the corner, so.
ME: when?
JOSH: december.
ME: [fumbling for a response, any response] well--december is good.
JOSH: mmhmm. so...
ME: so.
JOSH: what're your parents going to do?
ME: [totally confused] uh...hang out?
JOSH: tch, no. they're probably gonna make me stay in a hotel.
ME: [catching on now] oh, no, they'd--they'd be fine with it.
JOSH: yeah?
ME: yeah, they'd be totally cool.
JOSH: mmhmm. they'd think i look like a rapist. i'd come to the door and--
ME: --"what's that, mom? there's a rapist at my door? why, that must be my friend joshua!"
JOSH: [laughing] one point for me! yes!

so.

...december?

maybe?

oh my god.

JOSHHHH.

he told me he would text me this morning (at 5:30, when he wakes up) and then call if i responded. "it's a bad sign," he said, "if i don't text you. it means i didn't wake up...and one of my guys is sick and i have to take him in, so i kind of need to get up."

it looks like he slept in.

but he's sick too, so that's good. that he slept in. "i'm gonna get killed tomorrow," he told me, following the sentence up with the hugest yawn i've ever heard.

hopefully he's wrong.

on the ferris wheel, looking out on coney island
under more stars than there are prostitutes in thailand
our hair in the air, our lips blue from cotton candy
when we kiss it feels like a flying saucer landing
and i can't sleep, 'cause you've got strange powers
you're in my dreams, strange powers

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you look like a perfect fit for a girl in need of a tourniquet

nobody@vox.com(sara) — Tue, 26 Sep 2006 22:09:11 -0700

ME: *laughing about something* oh my god.
JOSH: you--you're not catholic, we've covered that--what religion are you?
ME: i'm...i'm not.
JOSH: then why do you say "oh my god"?
ME: well...i--i don't know, i guess it's just, like, something that you hear people say growing up, and so you say it. i mean, i say it.
JOSH: you're such a liar.
ME: what? what?!
JOSH: what?
ME: what?! what do i lie about?
JOSH: *laughs, then pauses* ...it's really beautiful outside tonight.

i don't even know. he told me he probably wouldn't talk to me today (this conversation occurred last night) but then he sent me a message on myspace anyway, telling me that he was going to sleep, so we wouldn't talk unless i wanted to call and wake him up.

considering i've already done that once in the past, like, week and a half...i decided not to.

god. god.

you struck me down like radium
like peter pan or superman, you will come to save me
come on and save me

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i am at school now

nobody@vox.com(sara) — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 10:01:01 -0700

i am at school now and i really need to stop sitting in the same place everyday for my free period. i feel like i live on

edit 9/10/2006, 10:13 AM: hmm. my phone told me that this wasn't sent at all, so imagine my surprise to find half my entry here. maybe the other half went somewhere else. either way, it went, more or less, something like this:

i feel like i live on this windowseat. the same people are here every day and they know me now. it is more than a little weird.

also, i talked to the boy last night. just through text messages, and i eventually wound up going to sleep. he called me at 5 and i swear--the one time he calls is the one time my phone isn't on. he left a message on my answerphone that just said "uh...shoot!"

it was so cute. he sounded genuinely upset that he couldn't get in touch with me.

so adorable. i can't stand it.

he's going away for two or three weeks again.

i am more than a little sad.

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