there's a war inside of me
so i found out today that i have done WAY MORE in college than i thought i had. by december, assuming i don't drop any of my classes, i'll only have 14 hours of school left. fourteen hours. FOURTEEN HOURS! OH MY GOD. i'm taking 12 right now. yesterday my schedule looked like this:
11:00 - 11:50 -- local government
12:00 - 12:50 -- composition I
1:00 - 1:50 -- basic nutrition (shut up. it replaces PE and i am determined to be a lazy bum.)
WHENEVER I WANT BECAUSE IT'S ONLINE, HAHA -- world lit I
however, NCTC (my stupid fucking community college) is idiotic and basically mislabelled grammar and composition (AKA english 1301, which i have already taken) as comp I. and they also put the wrong teacher down for it. BUT THAT IS ANOTHER STORY.
so, yeah, long story short--i had the wrong class on my schedule. so i was basically like, "SHIT SHIT FUCKER SHIT GODDAMN" and i had to go through a ton of shit (including leaving school and then DRIVING ALL THE WAY BACK) but it got sorted out. mostly.
so now my schedule looks like this:
11:00 - 11:50 -- local government
12:00 - 12:50 -- ABSOLUTELY JACK SHIT :(
1:00 - 1:50 -- basic nutrition
2:00 - 2:50 -- sociology
whenever, whereverrrr (uh, </shakira>) -- world lit I
SO THAT'S GR8.
and i suppose that, during my free period, i can do my homework for world lit (and government, since we're allowed to turn those assignments in online) in one of the computer labs. ...woo.
i was so fucking excited to only have to be at school for three hours. and now i am BACK TO FOUR. but i guess, like, whatever. at least i'll only have 14 hours left after this.
the problem is that this is what i will have left to take:
THREE hours of oral communication (read: speech.)
THREE hours of mathematics (read: hell on earth.)
EIGHT hours of lab/natural sciences (read: something i haven't had since my first semester of my senior year of high school...WHICH WAS IN THE YEAR 2004.)
in short, i am never going to get a fucking two-year degree.
i think i can take a minimester over the christmas break--i know they offer speech, maybe they offer, like...an easy math? like that exists, haha.
...sigh.
my dad wants me to go to UNT (the university of north texas: where my brother goes, and where his girlfriend is currently employed as a teacher), but i'm kind of leaning toward UT (university of texas at austin). it'd be kind of scary to actually be moving away, but i'd be INSANELY close to my best friend, and, well...
...living four hours away from my parents would be nice. and UNT is only half an hour away. the only thing keeping me from jumping right into UT (AKA applying to UT and hoping desperately that i get accepted) is that my parents would be like, "OMG PAY FOR YOUR OWN APARTMENT PLZ OR LIVE IN THE DORMS :D" and i really don't want to have to, you know, live with scary strangers.
...and i still kind of want to move to california and live with, probably, the best surrogate family i could ever ask for. i would love, love, love to live with ophelia and tora and all of them.
sigh. i need to go back to california. like, right now. i still have friends in california who i haven't met yet! and i neeeed to.
yeah, well. ...sigh.
and i can't stop listening to this song for some reason.
well, i can't stop talking for fear of listening to unwelcome sound
and you haven't called me in weeks and honestly, it's bringing me down
oh, i, i feel like i wouldn't like me if i met me
i, i feel like you wouldn't like me if you met me
and don't you worry; there's still time. don't you worry; there's still time
there's nothing to live for when i'm sleeping alone
and i wash the windows outside in hopes that the glare will bring you around...
...sunshine is days away, i won't be saved, i know all the words
i can't say that i'll love you forever.
sunshine is days away, i won't be saved, i know all the words
i won't say that i'll love you forever.
